Our Prayers Are With You....

The last few days I haven't been able to think about anything but the California fires. My SIL Rachel was home in San Diego with her 5 kids, include her month old new baby--Scott's brother Travis away on a business trip, when she got the call that they needed to evacuate their home. Luckily her family is close by to help her and they were able to get a hotel room. So many others are living in shelters.... I only talked to her briefly but she said the kids grabbed some clothes and toys, she packed up some pictures, her scrapbooks and off they went. I have this picture in my mind of a busy mom loading everything important to her in her SUV. Driving safely away-not sure if there would be a home to return to, but peaceful knowing that she had with her their most precious possessions. Their children.

Funny how it takes a tragedy to appreciate the blessings in our lives. I look at my little home and wish it was bigger, cleaner, more storage---but really I am just so grateful to have it. It keeps us safe, it is our shelter, every memory we have as a family is here.... (and truthfully I can barely keep the place clean, what would I do with a few extra feet??) On Oprah yesterday Dr. Oz was on and the topic was living with death. They had 2 people on, one had a rare form of stage 4 cancer in her lungs and liver which was stable. She made the movie "Crazy, Sexy Cancer" about her experience/life. The other had pancreatic cancer which after many procedures had defeated his body, leaving him only a short time to live. He gave the most uplifting, emotional and courageous lecture about living. If you haven't seen it, you must--his name is: Randy Pausch.

The show had me think about my life. Am I waiting for something tragic for me to start living? How many times do I really focus on the NOW.

I hear Tagg's little voice begging me to play transformers, or Berkeley bringing me a doll, or my guilt in leaving Forrest trapped in his exersaucer so I can "get a few things done", the nudging in my gut to call that old friend, or to just stop that person I've been wanting to get to know better but am too shy or don't want to look stupid. All those moments that I've missed. I make up excuses "mommy is busy right now" "look at this mess I need to clean up first" "She probably is too busy to talk or visit with me".

I can't believe how quickly the past 4 years have flown by. Last night Tagg fell asleep in my arms, I remember when he was brand new, and someone told me to just hold him when he was sleeping and stare at his eyelashes because it will be the only baby you'll have time to do it with. I did and am so glad. Last night I looked at my boy, whos now outgrown in my lap, and I stared at his eyelashes. Still my wonderful sleeping baby. I recognized that I need to make more time to really live. To appreciate the little things. To find happiness in my blessings. To stare at eyelashes a little more. One thing Randy Pausch said was that there is 10% good in life, 10% bad in life, the other 80% is grey. The choice is ours to decide what that grey is really like. Is is closer to white? or black? Sometimes I feel like it could be black-- but luckily (thankfully) I see mainly white and thats good.

So keep faith. Life is good. Even in the darkest of moments. You choose. We love you Travis, Rachel, and the Davies family. Our prayers are with you and the many other evacuees.