Maurita Tollestrup. Powered by Blogger.

I'm missed you....

Written April 2010

Somehow all my time and energy gets put into everything else and I've missed my days blogging. Everyone else I know keeps up on it---me??? I already miss it; having the stories available to look back on. Already Elle is 8mon, Forrest is 4, Berkeley lost 2 teeth at 5yrs & Tagg, 7yrs, has lost his baby teeth and ready for the Biggers! Wow How did we get here. It has been such a journey. I didn't know this is where I'd end up. A busy momma to 4kiddies. I've been lost for a while and just found my way recently to sanity. Sounds silly but truthfully I feel like the last year and a bit was a serious kick in the ass. Now my whole motivation is to get back to my old self. Back to laughing, enjoying the moments instead of wondering How in the hell I got here??

The other day chatting with one of my BFFs she mentioned that perhaps it is the age. In my 20's all was exciting, University, new loves, marriage, professional, freedom.... 30's all about family, house, payments, kids, prego (gag!)... now as we edge the end of the 30's I'm feeling back to my old self again. Grateful, more Generous, more accepting of my own flaws and everyone else's. I appreciate what I do have versus the time and energy I spent comparing or wondering "what if". I am in love with my old skin--it is a it bumpy and saggy  :) but it has made it thru 4 ginormous pregnancies, and still has enough spunk to run some stair, wrestle some kids, dance the night away. I always wanted to be 32, I remember a friend a bit older than me said that is when it all came together, the family, the house, the direction....in life. I thought 32 would be my magical age when it all worked---phewy! I'm adding a few more years to that. If that was my best-- life is down hill from here. Instead I am planning on the the 40's to give me myself back. Someone I once liked whom I am just getting reacquainted with now.& I must say she is a fine, old, dame...

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